The year was 2016, one of the most volatile summers of my life. I unknowingly had postpartum depression and the world was moving so quickly around me that I had completely lost control. Before this gets too far, I want you to know this is a love story and not a pity party.
I lost my job, I lost my car, my husband and I were married but separated and living in separate parts of the house, and I was so completely numb I could barely make myself food. I was married to a man but I thought I needed to be with a woman and THAT was why I was so unhappy. I dated woman after woman, I enjoyed the experiences but something was always off with every person I have dated. My heart was tired and still searching for something that didn’t exist; or so I thought.
My husband and I would go out on the weekends to a little part of the city called Benson, where the hipsters, music lovers, whiskey drinkers and cigar smokers congregated. But one particular night, we did our normal Friday night splurge and headed to my favorite little cigar bar, Jakes. Our friends were already there but there were some new people with them and one especially stood out.
His name was Will and among the man buns and cocaine dusted noses of the pierced and tattooed crowd, he was the black sheep. He wore a neat and tight forest green v-neck that barely fit over his chiseled pecks with flattering dark jeans and , unexpectedly, chucks. His dark brown hair was precisely combed in an almost retro style do, I nick-named him Frank Sinatra. I didn’t feel like he belonged in our friend group, who were a bunch of wannabe rock stars in ripped jeans and fedoras.
I’m not sure exactly what he saw in me that night, but we bar hopped for hours and he bought all my friends drinks and we all left when the bars closed for an after party at our place.
I got out my guitar and he watch me from across the room, and as I listened in on the group of guys in a circle on my back patio taking a smoke break, I heard his story. We had so much in common but he didn’t even know. I really clicked with him as we all went out many weekends in a row. He became my absolute best friend, and we were inseparable. For months I couldn’t even look him in the eye when we were talking, I always questioned why he ever chose to hang out with me. He had woman after woman falling for him and texting, snapping, calling. But he wanted to be with me instead.
To be continued…